D is for Diaries

Last Episode: We Flirted in the Danger Zone of Local Press Audiences

Since that time we are no nearer to getting published. You haven’t told me of your successes and our letters have been passed over but editors lacking taste and discrimination – never mind, let’s press on.

Press on. *Chuckle*. No? Oh well, please yourselves.

Diaries.

Are they important? Well, I have been keeping one for years now. I tend to write a page each day – sometime longer if it’s been a brilliantly interesting day or the sound of my own voice in my head doesn’t drive me to despair. These days the entries are getting shorter. I don’t, as it were, enter nearly quite as much as I would like.

I suppose as a writer, diary writing does help you do that, cultivate your voice. If you know your voice, it’s easier to slip into personas that are not really you.

But it’s effort, isn’t it? Every day to sit down with a blank piece of paper and fill it with inky daubing. And I have a pile of books gathering dust on a shelf in my office.

I suppose I write in the hope that somebody might want, one day, to use them to dramatise my life…you know ‘Diary of a SuperAddick: The Wilderness Years.

To test what it might be like, I have selected a volume and page, totally at random and here reproduce it for you, slightly edited. What do you think?

Random Diary Entry.

Yes, you’re right. Dostoyevsky it ain’t. I don’t think this is going to get me published in the West Briton.

All this is by way of hedging before the real focus of the blog-entry: news diaries and how to use them. Some news genuinely happens or is a result of investigative journalism. These are called off-diary stories.

So, in that case, what are on-diary stories? Is there such a thing? Can the budding feature writer anticipate what might sell to a newspaper?

In the news room, the diary is an information storage system that journalists input events that might become news or make a story. Readers are also encouraged to submit forthcoming events that might be newsworthy. In this way, news can be anticipated.

I suppose we can help ourselves by doing something similar – look at trends, locate upcoming events and think of story or feature ideas.

Therefore, because I am working locally (and so are you) I will now search for forthcoming events at a local level. I know there’s an election coming and that William and Kate are having a baby, but I don’t think an article about the benefits of breastfeeding will make it past the reader, do you? No, we need traction engines, Cornish coasts and idiot tourists.

So, what’s ON in Cornwall? Or rather, what will BE on?
Drum Roll, Please:

EVENT	OUR ANGLE	FEATURE TO PITCH
Truro Circus Club Weekly classes to develop your circus skills in juggling, clowning and mime.	Q: Are clowns actually funny or is mime entertaining in any way at all? A: No	‘Barman! Make Mime a Clown!’ A humorous feature about mime artists and clowns doing the pub circuit.
Truro Cathedral Spring Event Church services at Truro Cathedral	Q: Should normal church services be called an event, really? A: No. Shameful publicity seeking.	‘Whoops, Vicar, Where’s Me Trousers?’ A humorous feature about parsons, frocks and the danger of scented candles
Luke Bond’s Organ Recitals Organist Luke Bond is playing his organ	Q: Should Luke Bond’s organ be appreciated by a wider audience? A: Of course. It’s fabulous.	‘Shaken Not Stirred – Bond’s Big Organ’ A humorous feature about organs, Luke Bond’s big one and Bond films that feature keyboard instruments.
Truro City Walk A 45 minute walk around Truro’s popular tourist attractions.	Q: 45 minutes – that long? A: Don’t be silly.	‘Truro City Walking: Oh My Soul!’ A humorous feature where we invite Archie Bell and The Drells to body-pop their way around the piazza.

I have to admit that I don’t find these particularly inspiring – but I guess it’s a start.

What I really need now is a sympathetic professional to cast his or her eye over the proposals and tell me if any have legs or stick-ability.

We’ve been coming to this – where we actually need to talk to somebody who actually knows their onions. So next time we’ll conjure up a list of questions and see if we can get an interview.

Wonderful Words!
Pitch	What the writer attempts to sell, the idea, the take on something. Needs to be pithy and short!
Feature	A reasonable long piece devoted to a particular topic; tends to be inspired by a current or recent news story.
Off-Diary (story)	Some spontaneous news or an article inspired by investigative journalism

The Letter Challenge

Another way of getting published in the press is, of course, to write to their letters page. I challenge you to write, once a week, to see how long it takes. Your letter must come in at 100 words. Please send successful letters to the Blog where I will publish the best ones.

For my part, I shall use suggestions from my two year old Grandson, Harley. This week he has mostly been worried about ants.

As we read, so we learn J

This Week: Ants in the Garden

Dear Editor,

Until recently, I have always been a fan of ants. Especially Adam and the Ants or Adam Ant as he later called himself.

However, the other day I was eating my ice lolly in the garden when a huge flying ant collided thoughtlessly with it. This rendered my Sky Ray inedible. Furthermore, I was so alarmed I then dropped it in a muddy puddle rendering it even more inedible.

Can’t the authorities do anything about menaces like these? One day it’s ants, then it’s flies and don’t get me started on wasps. Come on you boffins, protect the ice cream eating public against flying vermin now!

Yours sincerely,